The thought between you and the life you want

What’s standing between you and the life, business, and impact you want? Over the last six years, I’ve realised something simple but powerful. The only thing between me and the life I want is my thinking.

Not the strategy. Not the business model. Not my experience or credibility. My thoughts. 

When I really saw that, it changed everything. 

Life got better. Business got better. Relationships got better. 

So why wouldn’t I share it? It would feel selfish not to. 

Last week, I ran a Success Saboteurs workshop at an International Women’s Day event, and I asked the room a simple question: 

If this workshop finished right now and you walked away having heard exactly what you needed to hear today, what would that be? (You can ask yourself the same while reading this blog!) 

It’s a powerful intention-setting question. Often, we arrive looking for something, even if we haven’t named it yet. 

From there, we explored three big ideas: what success is, what gets in the way, and what to do about it. 

Let’s start with my first truth bomb. 

There’s no such thing as success. 

Success is a made-up concept that pushes us to overwork, prove ourselves, and constantly wonder if we’re good enough. 

But underneath all of that, we’re usually not actually chasing success. We’re chasing a feeling. 

We want to feel fulfilled. Loved. Useful. Recognised. Happy. 

And here’s my second truth bomb. 

The feeling you’re looking for is already and always available.

You don’t need to achieve to be allowed to feel it. Fulfilment, contentment, happiness, and self-recognition are not rewards waiting at the end of a long journey. They’re available now if you take a moment to settle. 

You may, however, still want to create cool sh*t in the world1 i.e. things you want to be, do, and have. But instead of creating to feel, you create from a place of already feeling grounded in who you are. 

So I asked everyone in the room two questions: 

1. What would you love to create in the world? 

2. How do you want to feel while creating it? 

3. 
   

The room was filled with the energy of 50 women sharing their hopes, impact goals, and business dreams. It was beautiful. 

Then, for my third truth bomb. 

You are made for what you just wrote down.

There’s nothing wrong with you. You don’t need fixing. You don’t need to become someone else. You are already wired for the things you want to create. 

The problem is, we often think there is! We think we’re not good enough. We hear the little voice saying, “Who are you to…?” 

That’s where Success Saboteurs come in handy. 

Think of thought as a tool. Like a hammer. 

A hammer can build something beautiful or be used as a weapon against us. Thought works the same way. 

We can use it to imagine, dream, solve problems, and innovate. Or we can use it to attack ourselves. That’s what self-sabotage really is – the mind repeats old patterns that once helped you stay safe. 

These saboteurs are formed in childhood. They are characters in your internal story. They are not you. And we don’t need them anymore. We are safe. And we want to thrive, not just survive!! (that got a lot of “HELL YES” in the room!) 

In the workshop, I introduced the gang of nine saboteurs and shared how my top three get in the way of my business success. 

My Hyperachiever saboteur ties my sense of worth to performance and output. My Restless saboteur constantly chases novelty. My Pleaser saboteur prioritises other people’s approval over my own truth. 

My hyperachiever didn’t want me to share that I’d gone to a spa the day before (what does that mean about my success levels?!), but I shared it anyway, and silenced the voice.  

The next day, someone posted about taking a retreat day inspired by my moment of honesty. I couldn’t have been happier to inspire that woman running her business, her way, and not listening to the ‘rest guilt’ of her saboteur.  

It was beautiful hearing women share how their saboteurs show up in their businesses.

Hypervigilant voices, sticklers, avoiders. The pattern doesn’t matter as much as the awareness. Once you see it, you can choose differently. 

When a sabotaging thought shows up, my best advice is to tell yourself: 

“I don’t need to think that” 

You don’t have to argue with it or believe it. Just notice it and let your attention move elsewhere. 

The workshop ended reflecting on insights and choosing one action to take forward. Not ten. Not a perfect plan. Just one step. Transformation comes from seeing more clearly, not trying harder. 

So here’s what I want you to remember: 

When you feel stressed, frustrated, or not quite good enough, pause. Notice the thought. And say: 

“I don’t need to think that”. 

Freedom isn’t about never having sabotaging thoughts. Freedom is knowing you don’t have to follow them. 

QUESTION: What’s the thought you don’t need to give attention to anymore? 

ACTION: If you want support to master your mindset, get in touch. 

Growth leadership is not about adding more to your plate. It’s releasing what no longer serves you, including an old identity. If exploring this feels like a gold mine, get in touch, we should talk, it’s what I do for a living.  

Mehalah Beckett is an executive, team and business coach, and the founder of Lead Powerful Impact, a certified B-Corp

She works with purpose-driven leaders and sustainable businesses who want to move beyond performance, lead with clarity and self-trust, and create impact without burning out.

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