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Are you saying yes to the right things?

Yesterday I ran two MasterMinds for an inspiring bunch of purpose-driven leaders and entrepreneurs. They all shared their wins for us to celebrate, their challenges for us to support them through, and their next projects for us to help expand their possibilities and achieve their goals. Two very energising sessions!

What goes on in the MasterMind stays in the MasterMind, but I’ll share the challenge I brought.

I’m constantly battling with a need to keep myself busy (see How to be lazy: keep busy). January’s flavour of this was the challenge of saying no to more opportunities for learning and growth. Sounds like a nice problem to have, I know, but I have said yes to so many challenges, courses, book clubs and stretching events, that it’s beginning to be a problem.

What’s driving this? The hyper-achiever in me thinks the more I do the more successful I will be. The competitor in me fears missing out and my peers getting ahead of me. The people pleaser in me doesn’t want to disappoint those that kindly invite me to be part of something.

The curious, growth-minded explorer in me is absolutely loving January, and herein lies the problem – I’m value-aligned and fun so why change anything? Well because if I don’t start to focus down on my learning and opportunities for challenge, I’ll be all ideas and no action, all work and no play, overwhelmed at the possibilities and unable to switch off at night.

There are two ways I have found to tackle being a yes-woman. Firstly - when faced with a new opportunity, pause and ask myself, would the decision to do this come from empowered Mehalah – knowing what I want and need to move myself forward. Or would it be coming from a place of fear – of not having enough, not keeping up with others?

The second test is feeling my energy around it. I recently said yes to co-organising an event for International Womens’ Day – worried I’d bitten off more than I could chew I turned up to the planning session with an open mind but found myself so energised and excited by the prospect of running an event to impact hundreds of women – I knew I had made the right call.

Conversely, I signed up to a training that I personally wasn’t sure about, but ALL my peers seemed to be in. ‘Maybe I’m just chicken-shit as it’ll take me out of my comfort zone’ I thought – so with an open mind I gave it the benefit of doubt and signed up. That day my tooth flared up and I was hopeful an emergency dentist appointment would stop me from attending (not a great sign). When I turned up for the session, I was grumpy and irritable about it taking up my evening and was a little impatient with the other participants. Yes, you guessed it, this one should have been a no. Here’s to an empowered February!

What strategies do you employ to ensure your activities align with your values and priorities? Let me know.

Interested in getting some support with your wins, challenges, and next projects?

get in touch today and we’ll explore the options.

Mehalah Beckett is a consultant, coach and trusted advisor passionate about people, the planet and empowering others to inspire positive change. She coaches purpose-driven leaders to impossible goals, hosts Masterminds for hungry entrepreneurs and guides businesses through B-Corp. What can I help you achieve in 2021?

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