When effort isn't the answer

“Good things come to those who wait” vs. “If you want something, you gotta work for it.”

The gold is in knowing which one applies to what you're longing for.

I’d been craving a sea swim and the kind of heatwave the rest of the UK’s been enjoying. Finally, on Friday, it reached Scotland. After my morning calls, I ran straight to the beach. Three blissful days of swimming off the west coast followed.

This was not something I could make happen. No amount of striving or intention-setting could bring the sun out. That’s God’s business – completely outside my control. And weirdly, that’s freeing.

You can’t effort the weather

This morning, my Les Mills trainer shouted, “If you want something, you’ve got to fight for it and not let anyone stop you!”

That kind of energy? Perfect for a 7am workout. There are areas of life where drive and discipline are key. But this mindset doesn’t apply to everything.

Trying to bring the sunshine? A waste of energy. Trying to force a result in an area you don’t control? Same again.

Three types of business: Yours, Theirs, and God's

I often return to this distinction (inspired by Byron Katie):

• God’s business – things we simply cannot control: weather, timing, other people’s choices, external circumstances

• Other people’s business – we can influence, but we can’t direct their thoughts or actions

• Your business – this is where our true power lies

  
  

What’s God’s business in your life?

Where are you striving for something that isn’t actually yours to manage? Where would it serve you better to let go and trust?

What’s someone else’s business?

Where are you trying to get someone else to act, change, or grow in a way they’re not ready to? What might shift if you stopped pushing and started gently supporting instead?

And what’s your business?

This is where “if you want it, go for it” rings true. But even here, we need to be careful. Hard work matters, yes, but not at the cost of burnout. Action works best when it’s aligned with your values, grounded in your energy, and supported by clarity.

Where are you putting your energy?

Try this reflection:

• What are you longing for right now?

• Is it something you can influence, or is it time to surrender?

• Are you spending energy on what’s not your business?

  
  

When you focus on what is yours to own – and let go of what isn’t –  things get lighter, more spacious, and often more effective.

Ready to focus your energy where it truly counts?

If you're tired of pushing too hard in the wrong places, I can help you find clarity, alignment, and a grounded path forward.

Let’s talk about how coaching can support you to focus on what’s yours – and release the rest - more info about my success partnerships on the Coaching page.

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Mehalah Beckett is a coach, consultant and trusted advisor passionate about people, the planet and empowering others to inspire positive change. She coaches purpose-driven leaders to impossible goals, hosts MasterMinds for hungry entrepreneurs and guides businesses through B-Corp. What can I help you achieve over the next year?