Updated: Nov 30, 2020
I just had the best couple of weeks connecting with fascinating people. Really connecting.
I’m building a coaching business through referral and recommendation; the more people I coach, and coach powerfully, the more my impact, influence and income will grow.
Hence the more time I spend in the good company of old friends, colleagues, and new acquaintances – the more people will understand what I’m up to – the more potential for them experiencing my coaching or refer a friend to me.
Now that’s a lot of pressure.
I’m an incredibly social animal and I love nothing more than connecting with people, old and new, but this was a lot of pressure on me to reach out and get meetups in my diary.
The people I really wanted to reach out to, to powerfully support their inspiring missions, I often procrastinated reaching out to. Fear of rejection had me wimping out, and instead I found myself inviting those I was less attached to working with, where rejection would be OK. Unsurprisingly I was often rewarded with just that, which fuelled my fear of rejection further.
I was suffering from a dose of scarcity mindset – which is a feeling of not being enough – for me a fear of not having enough friends, clients, and future income had led me to overly focus on myself.
The fastest strategy to break that scarcity mindset is to do something for someone else. It sends a message to your brain, that you have more than enough, and plenty aside to share. It reminds you to show gratitude for what you do have and whips you out of a destructive selfish mindset and towards one of abundance.
I gave time to people that needed and wanted my company. I took on a new mentee from the women’s humanitarian network and offered pro-bono coaching to a struggling social entrepreneur. And not for the expectation of getting something back, but from the good of my heart, and more importantly, for the good of my mind. It was the circuit breaker my brain needed.
With that mindset, the polite declines of a catch-up from previous (scarcity fuelled) invites were easier, they just don’t need the conversation right now. I’ll support them in some way another time.
Coming from a place of abundance has helped me be truly present, deeply connect, and enjoy time I have spent with people over the last two weeks. If they said yes to a chat, there was something they were hoping to gain, be it a re-kindled friendship, interest in discussing common ground, or a boost or support of some kind. I approached the conversations with openness. I truly listened, without agenda, without judgement, without pressure.
What resulted was pure enjoyment in connecting, and we made many forward plans to play, collaborate, and work together.
Where does your scarcity mindset creep in and how does it manifest?
What could you do for someone as a circuit breaker that helps you come from a place of abundance?
When you are coming from a place of abundance, what could be possible? Let me know. Let’s make it reality.
I have availability from January for two new 1-2-1 clients, get in touch to schedule an informal conversation this December to see if it might be just what you're looking for.