Leading when you don’t know the answer
What to do, when everyone is looking at you, and you don’t have the answer?
The more senior you become, the more people expect you to know what to do.
Your team brings you problems, your board wants a recommendation, someone needs a decision. And somewhere amongst all of that, you’re supposed to be thinking about where you’re going next.
The irony is, the more senior you become, the less likely it is that the questions you’re dealing with have an obvious right answer.
Is that exciting opportunity worth pursuing, or is it a distraction?
Do you step in or let your team figure it out?
Are you giving someone enough time, or avoiding a difficult conversation?
Sometimes you genuinely don’t know.
And sometimes, underneath all the noise, you do.
Not knowing doesn’t mean you’re not a good leader
I’ve coached plenty of brilliant, experienced leaders through questions they couldn’t immediately answer. They’re not struggling because they aren’t capable enough; they’re dealing with something complex, there are competing priorities, other people are involved and the consequences matter.
That’s leadership.
But add the pressure of “I should know this” and suddenly a difficult decision becomes even harder.
You start going round in circles: gathering more information, asking more people, playing out every possible scenario. Second-guessing the answer you thought you had yesterday.
Or you keep yourself very busy solving all the things you can solve while the uncomfortable question sits quietly in the background.
Sound familiar?
Before you look for the answer, create some space
When your head is full, your instinct might be to think harder, but I’d suggest doing the opposite: step back.
Get the problem out of your head and somewhere you can actually look at it. Talk it through with someone who doesn’t have an agenda, and give yourself enough space to separate what you know from everything your brain has added on top.
Then ask yourself:
What am I actually trying to decide?
Strip away everything around it. What’s the real question?
What do I know, and what am I assuming?
We can make it an awful lot harder for ourselves by treating our assumptions about what might happen, or what other people might think, as facts.
What would I do if I trusted my judgement?
Not if you could guarantee the outcome, or if everybody agreed with you. If you trusted yourself to make the best decision you can with what you know now.
And a common question for those I’m coaching:
What do I already know that I’m hoping someone else will confirm?
Sometimes that question changes everything.
You don’t always need another opinion
There are times when you need expertise, information or advice. If you don’t know the tax implications, ask an accountant. If you need legal advice, ask a lawyer. If someone has experience you don’t have, learn from them.
But leadership decisions aren’t always like that. Sometimes asking five more people what they think just gives you five more opinions to process.
What you actually need is space to hear yourself think.
That’s where executive coaching comes in; my clients don’t need me to tell them how to do their jobs, they’re already good at what they do.
They might bring a major strategic decision, an opportunity they’re considering, a conversation they’re avoiding, or 17 things flying around in their head at once. We get it out; messy thoughts, space to explore, challenge, insight, confidence, action.
Sometimes I’ll spot an assumption they haven’t noticed, sometimes I’ll challenge something they’re making unnecessarily difficult, and sometimes I’ll ask a question that gets us underneath the question.
And sometimes I barely need to say anything before they stop mid-sentence and say: “Oh. I know what I need to do.”
The answer isn’t always to work harder
One of the biggest shifts I see in senior leaders is realising that their next level isn’t necessarily about doing more.
It can be about trusting themselves more, making the decision, having the conversation, knowing when to step in and when to step back.
That’s not lowering your ambition; it can actually free you up to achieve more, lead better and enjoy it.
Give yourself somewhere to think
Maybe you’re navigating a big decision, things are going brilliantly and you’re wondering what’s next, or you’re leading through change and trying to work out how to get out of the weeds and lead differently.
Or maybe you’re simply flying at 100 miles an hour and haven’t had enough space to work out what you actually think.
You don’t need to arrive at a coaching partnership with the answer, and you don’t even need to arrive with a beautifully articulated question. Bring the messy version, because my job isn’t to have all the answers; it’s to help you find yours.
If you’re an ambitious leader and there’s a decision, ambition or leadership challenge you’d value some space to explore, let’s talk about what could be possible with the right coaching partnership.
Impactfully,
Mehalah Beckett is an executive, team and business coach, and the founder of Lead Powerful Impact, a certified B-Corp.
She works with purpose-driven leaders and sustainable businesses who want to move beyond performance, lead with clarity and self-trust, and create impact without burning out.
Find out more at Lead Powerful Impact | LinkedIn | Instagram | Facebook
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