Following on from last week’s blog: What’s your favourite flavour of failure? asking how you usually trip yourself up, hold yourself back and sabotage your success….(if you’re not sure have a read and come back)…I’ve been asked to share my biggest F*ck Up at FuckUp Nights Glasgow this week.
I got headhunted at a Startup Grind party sharing horror stories from my public speaking helping my friend feel better about a wardrobe malfunction on stage (it did, and you’re welcome Jackie)…more on this on the night….
“Would you mind sharing a Fuck Up story on stage next week?” asked a curious onlooker.
“Eeeeerrrrrrrrrrr could do…sounds terrifying but also like useful therapy, and I do like to practice what I preach”
Everything’s easier to say YES to after a few Christmas Party Drinks. Now it’s the day before and I’m sweating at my desk staring at a blank PowerPoint.
Questions and thoughts going through my head:
I have plenty of small F*ck Ups from 4.5 years in business, but none make a thrilling story – have I been playing too small?
There were a couple of giant F*ck Ups in my last role – but are they too painful to tell?
There are some so far back that now just seem funny, but then are they live enough to extrapolate the lessons?
And fears:
What if I come across as too much of a failure and nobody ever trusts me again as their coach and success partner?
What if I get the storytelling wrong and just make everyone feel awkward about it?
What if my failure is a bit pathetic and I just come across as salesy in selling my business services?
Any of these thoughts or fears resonate for you?
What would hold you back from sharing your biggest Fuck Up?
The Good news?
That’s all they are – thoughts and questions – they’re not real (you can’t put them in a wheelbarrow). So let’s not grab hold of them, not add fuel to the flame, let’s let them go, and focus on the task at hand, the impact I want to have through my 10-minute story.
And start with the end in mind – how I fail.
My favourite Flavour of Failure?
“How will you fail?” I asked the group in my Impact MasterMind yesterday and I immediately knew the answer for me – it's by playing it safe and keeping myself small.
And yet – that doesn’t make a good story. But what’s behind it will - if you stay at surface level you’ll never get to the gold (it’s why we all benefit from a good coach).
Why do I play it safe and keep myself small? Because I care too much about what people think of me. I want to fit in, be accepted, and be liked.
And while that’s not likely to cause spectacular failure in my current business (just keep me from spectacular success) in my former position of responsibility for 200 jobs, a multi-million-pound budget and several thousand tourists, doing what I think will please others, rather than trust my gut on the ‘right’ thing to do, could be very costly indeed – financially, reputationally and in terms of my and others physical and mental health.
So this is the story I will tell tomorrow – how my ego – the way I think of myself – and the way I wish others to see me – encourages me to F*ck Up, time and time again – but I’m getting smarter to it – and hopefully telling a room full of people will be just the tonic - and help me and others to see the silver lining and lessons to move us forward.
What F*ck Up would you share? And what would stop you from sharing it?
If you’d like to learn from your F*ck Ups, get in touch, we should talk, and whether it’s 1-2-1 coaching or joining my Impact MasterMind, I’ve got your back!
Mehalah Beckett is a coach, consultant and trusted advisor passionate about people, the planet and empowering others to inspire positive change. She coaches purpose-driven leaders to impossible goals, hosts Masterminds for hungry entrepreneurs and guides businesses through B-Corp. What can I help you achieve over the next year?
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